Social Work Reflective Essay

Social Work Reflective Essay Introduction Reflection forms a central part of social work practice and education, and it is particularly important for social workers in placement settings or newly qualified social workers (Dcruz et al, 2007; Parker, 2010). In its simplest terms, reflection provides us with an opportunity to review our decisions and decision-making processes however, in practice, reflection is a far more complex concept (Trevethick, 2005: 251). It is essential that social workers have the confidence to question their own practice, the organisation that they work in, and dominant power structures in society at large (Fook, 1999). Reflection, and in particular critical reflective practice, forms a key part of this, as social workers are called on to reconsider and reconstruct the dominant social discourse. In this essay I will explore my experience of reflection during my practice placement, and in particular in relation to a specific case study. I will start by outlining my practice setting, and the details of the particular case study. I will then explore my experience of reflection, and how reflective practice supported me to apply theory to practice. Finally take a critical look at my practice, and suggest things that I could have done differently. Although I engage with and explored multiple models of reflection during my placement, the model of reflection that I found most useful was Schons theory of reflection (Schon, 1983; 2002). Schon advocated 2 types of reflective practice. Firstly, reflection-on-action, which involves reflecting on an experience that you have already had, or an action that you have already taken, and considering what could have been done differently, as well as looking at the positives from that interaction. The other type of reflection Schon notes is reflection-in-action, or reflecting on your actions as you are doing them, and considering issues like best practice throughout the process. Due to the limits of the current medium, I will be focusing mostly on reflection-on-action. However, appropriate use of this type of reflection should inform future practice, and encourage appropriate reflection-in-action when presented with a similar situation again. Practice Setting My placement was based at a not for profit mental health agency, where we provided psycho-social support for people who have experienced mental health difficulties. Many of the people that we worked with had been subject to section 2 or 3 orders under the Mental Health Act 1983/2007, and were now experiencing aftercare under section 117. Referrals to the agency could come from social services, GP surgeries, and other not-for-profit organisations. The people with whom we worked usually had a multitude of presenting issues and concerns, and I was aware from the onset that complex settings like this require social workers to be reflective in their practice in order to be able to deal with a variety of situations (Fook and Gardner, 2007). However, it soon became clear to me that the fast-paced working environment, where at times paperwork was promoted over practice, meant that reflection could potentially be ignored in favour of bureaucracy and targets (DCruz et al, 2007). This type of difficulty and uncertainty around reflection is common in placement settings and when starting a new role (Knott and Spafford, 2010). Reflection was particularly important when making the transition from university learning to the learning experienced in a placement setting. Social workers are provided with some guidance in practice to support this process. The Practice Competency Framework (PCF) domains provide some direction about what areas social workers are expected to emphasise in practice, and what needs to be evidenced in order to successfully complete a placement. Values and ethics are central to this framework, and comprise domain 2. Critical reflection is also part of this framework, making up the entirety of domain 6. However, it is essential that social workers do not become complacent in their personal reflection, and they cannot fall back on these types of guidance and procedures as a shield against engaging in reflection on complex ethical subjects (Banks, 2006). Case Study Many of the service users that we worked with had a dual diagnosis (problems with mental health and addiction). These service users particularly challenged me, as I found their intersecting issues usually stretch well beyond their dual diagnosis, to other areas like housing or physical health. I have, therefore, chosen to discuss one such case, where I engaged in substantial reflection. The background to this case study, and my involvement with him, will now be discussed. JK is a man in his 50s who was born in Nigeria but moved to the UK at a young age. When I worked with him, he lived in a housing project that was specifically meant to house ex-offenders. Although JK had a lead key-worker at my agency who was a permanent member of staff, I was responsible for the majority of the key working sessions with JK during my time on this placement. JK had a long history of substance misuse and mental health problems. He was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and dealt with significant anxiety and depression. He received depot injections monthly for his mental health difficulties, and he found these instances particularly distressing. JK also had a substantial history of criminal activity, which he said became necessary in order to maintain his addiction to certain illicit drugs. I would meet JK in a location of his choosing. Although usually this would mean either in our office or in his room, sometimes we went for a walk and I accompanied him to appointments at times also. This more informal working setting was where he felt he could speak most openly to me. Although I will discuss my involvement with JK more broadly,I will focus on one particular key working session that we had, where JK was most descriptive about all his concerns and the issues that were effecting him (session A). This is significant because reflection is particularly important when a critical incident like this has been experienced, and a less reflective approach could lead to a less holistic or even inadvertently oppressive account of what had transpired (Ruch, 2002). Reflective Practice Different models of reflection supported me throughout the reflective process. Gibbs Model of Reflection (1988) and Atkin and Murphys Model of Reflection (1994) both promote a cyclical approach to reflection, whereby reflection is ongoing and not a linear process. I found this to be the case, as I did not move through stages of refection one after the other, but moved between them, often returning to my conceptual starting point multiple times before settling on a holistic understanding of an event or situation that incorporates all systems influencing that scenario. Keeping a reflective diary of critical issues and my own thought process encouraged me to construct my understanding of the work I was doing, and justify what actions I had taken (White, 2001). Support from colleagues and supervisors was also invaluable in this process (Ruch, 2002). Yip (2006) aptly notes that models like those described above are most useful when starting out the reflective process, and I quickly adapted and developed a model of reflection that was most appropriate for me. Social work has traditionally been constructed as the professional knowing best, and continues to be practised in a way where the practitioner holds most of the power (Holmes and Saleeby, 1993). The power dynamics are slightly different in a non-statutory setting like I was working in. However, these power dynamics cannot be ignored, and underline all social work practice.I acknowledged the inherent power dynamics from the inception of my interactions with JK. I recognised that where unequal power dynamics exist in a relationship, it is usually the partner with the most power that benefits most from the interaction (Milner and OByrne, 2002). This is why it is important for social workers to listen to the perspectives of the people with whom they work, and be willing to accept different paradigms than their own or the dominant paradigm (Milner and OByrne, 2002). When working with JK, I was made aware of his engagement with mental health services, usually provided through the medical professions. He had an allocated community psychiatric nurse (CPN) who would visit occasionally, and at times he also met with a psychiatrist. Throughout my social work education, the difference between the medical model and the social model of experiencing mental illness has been stressed to me, and I clearly saw this when working with JK. The historically oppressive nature of mental health services is widely recognised in literature (Szasz, 1961; Foucault, 1967), and JK expressed to me at times that he felt that he was not listened to by medical professionals, and just moved from service to service having things done to him, rather than with him. Tew (2005) noted that the in the social model of mental distress, core values required include looking at the person and their situation holistically, removing the us and them thinking that tends to dominate mental health services, listening to what people really have to say, and being committed to anti-oppressive practice. I found these to be very helpful in working with JK. During Session A, the fact that I chose to explore JKs mental distress alongside the other issues that were going on in his life allowed me to identify that his physical health, including intense back pain that he has been experiencing, was having a substantial effect on his mental health, and I encouraged him to seek help and support with this. JK clearly appreciated my anti-oppressive approach, where I tried to work with him in partnership, and he was always keen to know when we would meet next. There is a stigma attached to having a mental illness, and even when contact with services has ceased, that stigma usually persists (Miles, 2005). JK had clearly been the subject of this stigma throughout his life. Tew (2005) believes if mental health services were more receptive to the social model of looking at mental distress, then significant amounts of this stigma and the resultant oppression would be removed. Applying Theory to Practice An important part of reflection in social work is the application and consideration of theories in practice (Trevethick, 2012). The theory base of social work is essential to all the work that we do in practice (Teater, 2010). Social workers need to be prepared to critically reflect on the theory that they are bringing to practice. It has been noted that the theory base of social work is dominated by euro-centric discourse, meaning that certain paradigms or perspectives may be excluded unintentionally (Trevethick, 2012). Being from Nigeria originally, and coming from a different cultural background than myself, meant that I had to be particularly careful in applying theory to the work that I did with JK.However, it is also clear that practice cannot just be based on routine or habit, with no basis in evidence (Thompson, 2009). The increasing influence of post-modern theory, which does not promote one paradigm over another, but focuses on the subjective nature of truth, has helped to alleviate these issues in social work to some extent (Fook, 2012). Our agency worked with some of the most marginalised and vulnerable members of society, and engaging in uninformed work with these types of service users is a dangerous undertaking (Collingwood et al, 2008). Through active engagement with reflection, I was able to work with JK using an eclectic theory and knowledge base, but was also careful to note if JK was not comfortable with some aspects of my approach, and adjusted the approach accordingly. Working closely with JK over a period of several months supported me to be able to identify any issues quickly, and by the time I we were engaged in Session A, we had a good working relationship. Of particular importance when working with service users who have a dual diagnosis was systems theory, and I found this theory to be particularly important when reflecting on Session A. Healy (2005) has recognised that systems theory have been highly influential on the knowledge base of social work. As noted above, people experiencing problems with addiction tend to have other issues in other areas of their lives (Tober and Raistrick, 2004).I was able incorporate specific applications of systems theory for the service user group I was working throughout my placement, and in particular with JK. The Six Cornered Addictions Rescue System (SCARS) was useful in that it took into account a person who was dealing with an addictions situation holistically, rather than just focusing on the addiction in isolation (McCarthy and Galvani, 2004). In Session A this allowed me to see how JKs addiction and mental health problems were also linked to issues with accommodation, physical health, relationships and employment. What could have been done differently? I have discussed my work with JK, and reflected on specific incidents and issues with him. However, returning to Schon (1983), he notes that reflection takes place within our own understanding and the meaning that we attribute to an event, rather than within the event itself. Therefore, social workers need to look at their own underlying assumptions, as well as dominant social narratives, in order to shape their holistic understanding and experience of a given incident. Dewey (1993) recognised the importance of discovering new information in reflection. This can come from both internal sources (personal reconsideration) and external sources (professional support or research), and this new information can completely re-construct the way that an incident or event is considered, and change the narrative that we are engaged in. This is helpful in reconsidering an event, and determining whether something could have been done differently or better. In relation to Session A, one area that I reflected on was that I may have focused too much on theory when working with JK. It has been recognised in literature around theory in practice that overly focusing on theory when working with service users can actually hinder the work being done, as the service user can feel depersonalised (Parker, 2010). As noted above, this was particularly important in the case of JK, who was from a different culture than me. More time could have been spent on listening to JK and his perspective, rather than trying to fit him into a theory or model for the sake of evidencing my own case notes or reflective journals. I worked with JK very much in isolation. Although I met his CPN and his drug worker, at no stage was a multi-agency meeting held that I was invited to. To some extent, this was the fault of the other professionals, who did not consult me on the work they were doing with JK, and literature has noted that collaboration is particularly difficult when working with dual diagnosis service users, as mental health and addiction services can disagree over the correct course, or who should take the lead (Clement et al, 1993; Champney-Smith, 2004). However, I could have made more of an effort to engage with them, or at least discuss with JK how much consultation he would like me to have with those other workers. Suter et al (2009) have found that a willingness to communicate is a key characteristic needed for effective collaboration, and after the other professionals were not active in engaging with me, I lost this willingness, potentially to the detriment of my work with JK. It has to be noted that reflection is not always recognised as a self-evidently positive mechanism. There are critics of the way reflection is promoted in current practice environments, with some bemoaning the cult following that has developed around reflection in the social work sphere (Ixer, 1999: 513). Boud and Knight (1996) equally describe how reflection has come to be seen as self-evidently worthwhile without significant critique (p.32). Ixer (1999) recognises that focusing too much on assessing reflection can lead to a prescriptive approach to reflection that is uncompromising. I found this to be the case at times, when I was expected to write my reflections at a certain time, and have reflective supervision in a certain way. As well as this, having someone essentially assessing my reflection made this even more difficult, as I was not able to reflect in a way that was personal for me. Parker (2010) has noted that reflection is not something that can be assessed based on traditional reductionist techniques. Therefore, I found it important to not just reflect on my work and the working environment, but also the process of reflection itself. Conclusion The issues that social workers are engaged with, and that I have discussed here, do not only reflect the concerns of the service user, but are a reflection of the issues that are inherent in wider society (Davis, 2007). Unequal power dynamics, concerns around oppression and issues with stigma are all societal problems that social workers need to engage with not just on a micro-level, but also a macro-level. To some extent this is an area that I found reflection lacking in. I was able to look at my own practice, and my own assumptions and narratives; however, I was unable to determine how best to address wider inequality and societal oppression of people like JK. In this reflective essay, I have explored my practice setting in relation to a particular case study. I introduced the placement setting and the case study, and then looked at my experience of reflection within this setting. I discussed how I engaged with different models of reflection, experienced power dynamics, and explored different interpretations of mental distress. I then moved on to look at how reflection promoted me to engage with theory in practice, in particular in relation to systems theory. Finally, I used this reflection to look at things that I could have done differently, including a decreased focus on theory and engaging more with other services. This type of critical reflection should be ongoing for social workers in practice, and to some extent it would be difficult to work in a complex setting like I was without being reflective. Although I noted some areas I could have improved on in my interactions with JK, what was most apparent in my work with him was that my willingness to explore his paradigm and perspectives opened him up to engaging with me on a range of issues, that otherwise may have remained hidden. References Atkins, S. and Murphy, K. (1994) Reflective Practice, Nursing Standard8(39) 49-56. Banks, S. (2006) Ethics and Values in Social Work, Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. Cameron, A., Lart, R., Bostock, L. and Coomber, C. (2012) Factors that promote and hinder joint and integrated working between health and social care services, London: SCIE. Champney-Smith, J. (2004) Dual Diagnosis in T. Peterson and A. McBride (Eds.) Working with Substance Misusers: A Guide to Theory and Practice, London: Routledge. Clement, J., Williams, E. and Waters, C. (1993) The client with substance abuse/mental illness: Mandate for Collaboration Achieves of Psychiatric Nursing, 7(4), 189-196. Collingwood, P., Emond, R. and Woodward, R. (2008) The theory circle: A tool for learning and for practice Social Work Education, 27(1), 70-83. Davis, A, (2007) Structural Approaches to Social Work in J. Lisham (Ed.) Handbook for Practice Learning in Social Work and Social Care: Knowledge and Theory, London: JK. Dewey, J. (1993) How we Think: A restatement of the relation of reflective thinking to the education process, Boston: Health Publishing. DCruz, H., Gillingham, P. and Melendez, S. (2007) Reflexivity, its meanings and relevance for social work: A critical review of the literature British Journal of Social Work, 37, 73-90. Fook, J. (1999) Critical reflectivity in education and practice in B. Pears and J. Fook (eds) Transforming Social Work Practice: Postmodern Critical Perspectives, St Leonards: Allen and Unwin, 195-208. Fook, J. (2012) Social Work: A Critical Approach to Practice, London: Sage. Fook J. and Gardner F. (2007) Practising Critical Reflection: A Resource Handbook, Maidenhead: McGraw-Hill. Foucault M. (1967) Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason, London: Tavistock. Gibbs, G. (1988) Learning by Doing: A guide to teaching and learning methods, Oxford: Oxford University Press. Healy, K. (2005) Social Work Theories in Context: Creating Frameworks for Practice, Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. Holmes, G. and Saleeby, D. (1993) Empowerment, the Medical Model and the Politics of Clienthood, Journal of Progressive Human Services, 4(1), 61-78. Ixer, G. (1999) Theres no such thing as reflection British Journal of Social Work,29, 513-527. Knott, C. and Spafford, J. (2010) Getting Started in C. Knott and T. Scragg (eds.) Reflective Practice in Social Work, Exeter: Learning Matters. McCarthy, T. and Galvani, S. (2004) SCARS: A new model for social work with substance misuse  Practice, 16(2), 85-97. Milner, J. and OByrne P. (2002) Assessment in Social Work Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.Parker, J. (2010) Effective Practice in Social Work, Exeter: Learning Matters. Miles, A. (1987) The Mentally Ill in Contemporary Society, Oxford: Blackwell. Parker, J. (2010) Effective Practice Learning in Social Work, Exeter: Learning Matters. Ruch, G. (2002) From triangle to spiral: reflective practice in social work education, practice and research, Social Work Education, 21(2), 199-216. Schn, D. (1983) The Reflective Practitioner, New York: Basic Books. Schon, D. (2002) From technical rationality to reflection-in-action in R. Harrison, F. Reeve, A. Hanson and J. Clarke (eds) Supporting Lifelong Learning: Perspectives on Learning, London: Routledge. Szasz, T. (1961) The Myth of Mental Illness: Foundations of a Theory of Personal Conduct, London: Harper and Row. Teater, B. (2010) An Introduction to Applying Social Work Theories and Methods, Maidenhead: Open University Press. Tew, J. (2005) Social Perspectives in Mental Health London: Kingsley. Thompson, N. (2009) Practicing Social Work: Meeting the Professional Challenge, Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. Tober, G. and Raistrick, D. (2004) Organisation of Services Putting it all Together in T. Peterson and A. McBride (Eds.) Working with Substance Misusers: A Guide to Theory and Practice, London: Routledge. Trevithick, P. (2012) Social Work Skills: A Practice Handbook, Maidenhead: Open University Press. White, S. (2001) Auto-ethnography as reflexive enquiry: The research act as self-surveillance, in I. Shaw and N. Gould (eds), Qualitative Research in Social Work, London: Sage. Yip, K. (2006)Self-reflection in reflective practice: A note of caution British Journal of Social Work, 36(5), 777-788.

The Twilight Saga 4: Breaking Dawn 11. The Two Things At The Very Top …

11. The Two Things At The Very Top Of My Things-I-Never-Want-To-Do List Sam started moving the others into formation while i was still on the ground. Embry and Quil were at my sides, waiting for me to recover and take the point. I could feel the drive, the need, to get on my feet and lead them. The compulsion grew, and I fought it uselessly, cringing on the ground where I was. Embry whined quietly in my ear. He didn't want to think the words, afraid that he would bring me to Sam's attention again. I felt his wordless plea for me to get up, for me to get this over with and be done with it. There was fear in the pack, not so much for self but for the whole. We couldn't imagine that we would all make it out alive tonight. Which brothers would we lose? Which minds would leave us forever? Which grieving families would we be consoling in the morning? My mind began to work with theirs, to think in unison, as we dealt with these fears. Automatically, I pushed up from the ground and shook out my coat. Embry and Quil huffed in relief. Quil touched his nose to my side once. Their minds were filled with our challenge, our assignment. We remembered together the nights we'd watched the Cullens practicing for the fight with the newborns. Emmett Cullen was strongest, but Jasper would be the bigger problem. He moved like a lightning strike – power and speed and death rolled into one. How many centuries' experience did he have? Enough that all the other Cullens looked to him for guidance. take point, if you want flank, Quil offered. There was more excitement in his mind than most of the others. When Quil had watched Jasper's instruction those nights, he'd been dying to test his skill against the vampire's. For him, this would be a contest. Even knowing it was his life on the line, he saw it that way. Paul was like that, too, and the kids who had never been in battle, Collin and Brady. Seth probably would've been the same – if the opponents were not his friends. Jake?Quil nudged me. How do you want to roll? I just shook my head, t couldn't concentrate – the compulsion to follow orders felt like puppet strings hooked intoall of my muscles. One foot forward, now another. Seth was dragging behind Collin and Brady – Leah had assumed point there. She ignored Seth while planning with the others, and I could see that she'd rather leave him out of the fight.There was a maternal edge to her feelings for her younger brother. She wished Sam would send him home. Seth didn't register Leah's doubts. He was adjusting to the puppet strings, too. Maybe if you stopped resisting†¦,Embry whispered. Just focus on our part. The big ones. We can take them down. We own them!Quil was working himself up – like a pep talk before a big game. I could see how easy it would be – to think about nothing more than my part. It wasn't hard to imaging attacking Jasper and Emmett. We'd been close to that before. I'd thought of them as enemies for a very long time. I could do that now again. I just had to forget that they were protecting the same thing I would protect. I had to forget the reason why I might want them to win†¦. Jake,Embry warned. Keep your head in the game. My feet moved sluggishly, pulling against the drag of the strings. There's no point fighting it,Embry whispered again. He was right. I would end up doing what Sam wanted, if he was willing to push it. And he was. Obviously. There was a good reason for the Alpha's authority. Even a pack as strong as ours wasn't much of a force without a leader. We had to move together, to think together, in order to be effective. And that required the body to have a head. So what if Sam was wrong now? There was nothing anyone could do. No one could dispute his decision. Except. And there it was – a thought I'd never, never wanted to have. But now, with my legs all tied up in strings, I recognized the exception with relief – more than relief, with a fierce joy. No one could dispute the Alpha's decision – except for me. I hadn't earned anything. But there were things that had been born in me, things that I'd left unclaimed. I'd never wanted to lead the pack. I didn't want to do it now. I didn't want the responsibility for all our fates resting on my shoulders. Sam was better at that than I would ever be. But he was wrong tonight. And I had not been born to kneel to him. The bonds fell off my body the second that I embraced my birthright. I could feel it gathering in me, both a freedomand also a strange, hollow power.Hollow because an Alpha's power came from his pack, and I had no pack. For a second, loneliness overwhelmed me. I had no pack now. But I was straight and strong as I walked to where Sam stood, planning with Paul and Jared. He turned at the sound of my advance, and his black eyes narrowed. A/o, I told him again. He heard it right away, heard the choice that I'd made in the sound of the Alpha voice in my thoughts. He jumped back a half step with a shocked yelp. Jacob? What have you done? I won't follow you, Sam. Not for something so wrong. He stared at me, stunned. You would†¦ you would choose your enemies over your family? They aren't – I shook my head, clearing it – they aren't our enemies. They never have been. Until I really thought about destroying them, thought it through, I didn't see that. This isn't about them,he snarled at me. This is about Bella. She has never been the one for you, she has never chosen you, but you continue to destroy your life for her! They were hard words, but true words. I sucked in a big gulp of air, breathing them in. Maybe you're right. But you're going to destroy the pack over her, Sam. No matter how many of them survive tonight, they will always have murder on their hands. We have to protect our families! I know what you've decided, Sam. But you don't decide for me, not anymore. Jacob – you can't turn your back on the tribe. I heard the double echo of his Alpha command, but it was weightless this time. It no longer applied to me. He clenched his jaw, trying to force me to respond to his words. I stared into his furious eyes. Ephraim Black's son was not born to follow Levi Uley's. Is this it, then, JacobBlack? His hackles rose and his muzzle pulled back from his teeth. Paul and Jared snarled and bristled at his sides. Even if you can defeat me, the pack will never follow you! Now jerked back, a surprised whine escaping my throat. Defeat you? I'm not going to fight you, Sam. Then what's your plan? I'm not stepping aside so that you can protect the vampire spawn at the tribe's expense. I'm not telling you to step aside. If you order them to follow you – never take anyone's will away from him. His tail whipped back and forth as he recoiled from the judgment in my words. Then he took a step forward so that we were toe to toe, his exposed teeth inches from mine. I hadn't noticed till this moment that I'd grown taller than him. There cannot be more than one Alpha. The pack has chosen me. Will you rip us apart tonight? Will you turn on your brothers? Or will you end this insanity and join us again?Every word was layered with command, but it couldn't touch me. Alpha blood ran undiluted in my veins. Icould see why there was never more than one Alpha male in a pack. My body was responding to the challenge. I could feel the instinct to defend my claim rising in me. The primitive core of my wolf-self tensed for the battle of supremacy. I focusedall my energy to control that reaction. I would not fall into a pointless, destructive fight with Sam. He was my brother still, even though I was rejecting him. There is only one Alpha for this pack. I'm not contesting that I'm just choosing to go my own way. Do you belong to acoven now, Jacob? I flinched. don't know, Sam. But I do know this – He shrunk back as he felt the weight of the Alpha in my tone. It affected him more than his touched me. Because I had been born to lead him. will stand between you and the Cullens. I won't just watch while the pack kills innocent – it was hard to apply that word to vampires, but it was true – people. The pack is better than that. Lead them in the right direction, Sam. I turned my back on him, and a chorus of howls tore into the air around me. Digging my nails into the earth, I raced away from the uproar I'd caused. I didn't have much time. At least Leah was the only one with a prayer of outrunning me, and I had a head start. The howling faded with the distance, and I took comfort as the sound continued to rip apart the quiet night. They weren't after me yet. I had to warn the Cullens before the pack could get it together and stop me. If the Cullens were prepared,it might give Sam a reason to rethink this before it was too late. I sprinted toward the white house Istill hated, leaving my home behindme. Home didn't belong to me anymore. I'd turned my back on it. Today had begun like any other day. Made it home from patrol with the rainy sunrise, breakfast with Billy and Rachel, bad TV, bickering withPaul†¦ How did it change so completely, turn all surreal? How did everything get messed up and twisted so that I was here now, all alone, an unwilling Alpha, cut off from my brothers, choosing vampires over them? The sound I'd been fearing interrupted my dazed thoughts – it was the soft impact of big paws against the ground, chasing after me. I threw myself forward, rocketing through the black forest. I just had to get close enough so that Edward could hear the warning in my head. Leah wouldn't be able to stop me alone. And then I caught the mood of the thoughts behind me. Not anger, but enthusiasm. Not chasing†¦ but following. My stride broke. I staggered two steps before it evened out again. Wait up. My legs aren't as long as yours. SETH! What do you think you're DOING? GO HOME! He didn't answer, but I could feel his excitement as he kept right on after me. I could see through his eyes as he could see through mine. The night scene was bleak for me – fullof despair. For him, it was hopeful. I hadn't realized I was slowing down, but suddenly he was on my flank, running in position beside me. am not joking, Seth! This is no place for you. Get out of here. The gangly tan wolf snorted. I've got your back, Jacob. I think you're right. And I'm not going to stand behind Sam when – Oh yes you are the hell going to stand behind Sam! Get your furry butt back to La Push and do what Sam tells you to do. No. Go, Seth! Is that anorder. Jacob? His question brought me up short. I skidded to a halt, my nails gouging furrows in the mud. I'm not ordering anyone to do anything. I'm just telling you what you already know. He plopped down on his haunches beside me. tell you what I know – I know that it's awful quiet. Haven't you noticed? I blinked. My tail swished nervously as I realized what he was thinking underneath the words. It wasn't quiet in one sense. Howls still filled the air, far away in the west. They haven't phased back,Seth said. I knew that. The pack would be on red alert now. They would be using the mind link to see all sides clearly. But I couldn't hear what they were thinking. I could only hear Seth. No one else. Looks to me like separate packs aren't linked. Huh. Guess there was no reason for our fathers to know that before. ‘Cause there was no reason for separate packs before. Never enough wolves for two. Wow. It'sreally quiet. Sort of eerie. But also kinda nice, don't you think? I bet it was easier, like this, for Ephraim and Quil and Levi. Not such a babble with just three. Or just two. Shut up, Seth. Yes, sir. Stop that! There are not two packs. There is THE pack, and then there is me. That's all. So you can go home now. If there aren't two packs, then why can we hear each other and not the rest? I think that when you turned your back on Sam, that was a pretty significant move. A change. And when I followed you away, I think that was significant, too. You've got a point,I conceded. But what can change can change right back. He got up and started trotting toward the east. No time to argue about it now. We should be moving right along before Sam†¦ He was right about that part. There was no time for this argument. Ifell into a run again, not pushing myself quite as hard. Seth stayed on my heels, holding the Second's traditional place on my right flank. can run somewhere else, he thought, his nose dipping a little. didn't follow you because I was after a promotion. Run wherever you want. Makes no difference to me. There was no sound of pursuit, but we both stepped it up a little at the same time. I was worried now. If I couldn't tap into the pack's mind, it was going to make this more difficult. I'd have no more advance warning of attack than the Cullens. We'll run patrols,Seth suggested. And what do we do if the pack challenges us?My eyes tightened. Attack our brothers? Your sister? No – we sound the alarm and fall back. Good answer. But then what? I don't think†¦ I know,he agreed. Less confident now. don't think I can fight them, either. But they won't be any happier with the idea of attacking us than we are with attacking them. That might be enough to stop them right there. Pius, there're only eight of them now. Stop being so†¦Took me a minute to decide on the right word. Optimistic. It's getting on my nerves. No problem. You want me to be all doom and gloom, or just shut up? Just shut up. Can do. Really? Doesn't seem like it. He was finally quiet. And then we were across the road and moving through the forest that ringed the Cullens' house. Could Edward hear us yet? Maybe we should be thinking something like,'We come in peace.† Go for it Edward?He called the name tentatively. Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid. You sound stupid, too. Think he can hear us? We were less than a mile out now. think so. Hey, Edward. If you can hear me – circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem. We've got a problem, Seth corrected. Then we broke through the trees into the big lawn. The house was dark, but not empty. Edward stood on the porch between Emmett and Jasper. They were snow white in the pale light. â€Å"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?† I slowed and then paced back a few steps. The smell was so sharp through this nose that it felt like it was honestly burning me. Seth whined quietly, hesitating, and then he fell back behind me. To answer Edward's question, I let my mind run over the confrontation with Sam, moving through it backward. Seth thought with me, filling in the gaps, showing the scene from another angle. We stopped when we got to the part about the â€Å"abomination,† because Edward hissed furiously and leaped off the porch. â€Å"They want to kill Bella?† he snarled flatly. Emmett and Jasper, not having heard the first part of the conversation, took his inflectionless question for a statement. They were right next to him in a flash, teeth exposed as they moved on us. Hey, now,Seth thought, backing away. â€Å"Em, Jazz – not theml The others. The pack is coming.† Emmett and Jasper rocked back on their heels; Emmett turned to Edward while Jasper kept his eyes locked on us. â€Å"What's their problem?† Emmett demanded. â€Å"The same one as mine,† Edward hissed. â€Å"But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now.† I whined uneasily. They were separated. â€Å"They aren't far,† Edward said in the same dead voice as before. I'm going to go take a look,Seth said. Run the western perimeter. â€Å"Will you be in danger, Seth?† Edward asked. Seth and I exchanged a glance. Don't think so,we thought together. And then I added, But maybe I should go. Just in case†¦ They'll be less likely to challenge me,Seth pointed out. I'm just a kid to them. You're just a kid to me, kid. I'm outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens. He wheeled and darted into the darkness. I wasn't going to order Seth around, so I let him go. Edward and I stood facing each other in the dark meadow, i could hear Emmett muttering into his phone. Jasper was watching the place where Seth had vanished into the woods. Alice appeared on the porch and then, after staring at me with anxious eyes for a long moment, she flitted to Jasper's side. I guessed that Rosalie was inside with Bella. Still guarding her – from the wrong dangers. â€Å"This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob,† Edward whispered. â€Å"I would never have asked for this from you.† I thought of what he'd asked me for earlier today. When it came to Bella, there were no lines he wouldn't cross. Yeah, you would. He thought about it and then nodded. â€Å"I suppose you're right about that.† I sighed heavily. Well, this isn't the first time that I didn't do it for you. â€Å"Right,† he murmured. Sorry I didn't do any good today. Told you she wouldn't listen to me. â€Å"I know. I never really believed she would. But†¦Ã¢â‚¬  You had to try. I get it. She any better? His voice and eyes went hollow. â€Å"Worse,† he breathed. I didn't want to let that word sink in. I was grateful when Alice spoke. â€Å"Jacob, would you mind switching forms?† Alice asked. â€Å"I want to know what's going on.† I shook my head at the same time Edward answered. â€Å"He needs to stay linked to Seth.† â€Å"Well, then would you be so kind as to tell me what's happening?† He explained in clipped, emotionless sentences. â€Å"The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the†¦ from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight.† Alice hissed, leaning away from me. Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance, and then their eyes ranged across the trees. Nobody out here,Seth reported. All's quiet on the western front They may go around. I'll make a loop. â€Å"Carlisle and Esme are on their way,† Emmett said. â€Å"Twenty minutes, tops.† â€Å"We should take up a defensive position,† Jasper said. Edward nodded. â€Å"Let's get inside.† run perimeter with Seth. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl. â€Å"Iwill.† They backed into the house, eyes flickering everywhere. Before they were inside, I turned and ran toward the west. I'm still not finding much,Seth told me. take half the circle. Move fast – we don't want them to have a chance to sneak past us. Seth lurched forward in a sudden burst of speed. We ran in silence, and the minutes passed. I listened to the noises around him, double-checking his judgment. Hey – something coming up fast!he warned me after fifteen minutes of silence. On my way! Hold your position – don't think it's the pack. It sounds different. Seth – But he caught the approaching scent on the breeze, and I read it in his mind. Vampire. Bet it's Carlisle. Seth, fall back. It might be someone else. No, it's them. I recognize the scent Hold up, I'm going to phase to explain it to them. Seth, I don't think – But he was gone. Anxiously, I raced along the western border. Wouldn't it be just peachy if I couldn't take care of Seth for one freaking night? What if something happened to him on my watch? Leah would shred me into kibble. At least the kid kept it short. It wasn't two minutes later when I felt him in my head again. Yep, Carlisle and Esme. Boy, were they surprised to see me! They're probably inside by now. Carlisle said thanks. He's a good guy. Yeah. That's one of the reasons why we're right about this. Hope so. Why're you so down, Jake? I'll bet Sam won't bring the pack tonight. He's not going to launch a suicide mission. I sighed. It didn't seem to matter, either way. Oh. This isn't about Sam so much, is it? I made the turn at the end of my patrol. I caught Seth's scent where he'd turned last. We weren't leaving any gaps. You think Bella's going to die anyway,Seth whispered. Yeah, she is. Poor Edward. He must be crazy. Literally. Edward's name brought other memories boiling to the surface. Seth read them in astonishment. And then he was howling. Oh, man! No way! You did notThat just plain oT sucks rocks, Jacob! And you know it, too! I can't believe you said you'd kill him. What is that? You have to tell him no. Shut up, shut up, you idiot! They're going to think the pack is coming! Oops!He cut off mid-howl. I wheeled and started loping in toward the house. Just keep out of this, Seth. Take the whole circle for now. Seth seethed and I ignored him. False alarm, false alarm,I thoughtas I ran closer in. Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one's attacking. False alarm. When I got to the meadow, I could see Edward staring out of a dark window. I ran in, wanting to be sure he got the message. There's nothing out there – you got that? He nodded once. This would be a lot easier if the communication wasn't one way. Then again, I was kinda glad I wasn't in his head. He looked over his shoulder, back into the house, and I saw a shudder run through his whole frame. He waved me away without looking in my direction again and then moved out of my view. What's going on? Like I was going to get an answer. I sat very still in the meadow and listened. With these ears, I could almost hear SetlYs soft footfalls, miles out into the forest. It was easy to hear every sound inside the dark house. â€Å"It was a false alarm,† Edward was explaining in that dead voice, just repeating what I'd told him. â€Å"Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He's very young.† â€Å"Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort,† a deeper voice grumbled. Emmett, I thought. â€Å"They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett,† Carlisle said. â€Å"At great personal sacrifice.† â€Å"Yeah, I know. I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there.† â€Å"Seth doesn't think Sam will attack now,† Edward said mechanically. â€Å"Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack.† â€Å"What does Jacob think?† Carlisle asked. â€Å"He'snot as optimistic.† No one spoke. There was a quiet dripping sound that I couldn't place. I heard their low breathing – and I could separateBella's from the rest. It was harsher, labored. It hitched and broke in strange rhythms. I could hear her heart. It seemed†¦ too fast. I paced it against my own heartbeat, but I wasn't sure if that was any measure. It wasn't like I was normal. â€Å"Don't touch her! You'll wake her up,† Rosalie whispered. Someone sighed. â€Å"Rosalie,† Carlisle murmured. â€Å"Don't start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing.† It seemed like Rosalie and Bella were both talking in plurals now. Like they'd formed a pack of their own. I paced quietly in front of the house. Each pass brought me a little closer. The dark windows were like a TV set running in some dull waiting room – it was impossible to keep my eyes off them for long. A few more minutes, a few more passes, and my fur was brushing the side of the porch as I paced. I couldsee up through the windows – see the top of the walls and the ceiling, the unlit chandelier that hung there. I was tall enough thatall I would have to do was stretch my neck a little†¦ and maybe one paw up on the edge of the porch†¦. I peeked into the big, open front room, expecting to see something very similar to the scene this afternoon. But it had changed so much that I was confused at first. For a second I thought I'd gotten the wrong room. The glass wall was gone – it looked like metal now. And the furniture was all dragged out of the way, withBella curled up awkwardly on a narrow bed in the center of the open space. Not a normal bed – one with rails like in a hospital. Also like a hospital were the monitors strapped to her body, the tubes stuck into her skin. The lights on the monitors flashed, but there was no sound. The dripping noise was from the IV plugged into her arm – some fluid that was thick and white, not clear. She choked a little in her uneasy sleep, and both Edward and Rosalie moved in to hover over her. Her body jerked, and she whimpered. Rosalie smoothed her hand across Bella's forehead. Edward's body stiffened – his back was to me, but his expression must have been something to see, because Emmett wrenched himself between them before there was time to blink. He held his hands up to Edward. â€Å"Not tonight, Edward. We've got other things to worry about.† Edward turned away from them, and he was the burning man again. His eyes met mine for one moment, and then I dropped back to all fours. I ran back into the dark forest, running to join Seth, running away from what was behind me. Worse. Yes, she was worse.

Creepy Craig

Creepy Craig It was almost like lying in a boiling rubber blowup pool. The air was thick and Zara couldn’t manage to fall asleep. The strange noises from across the hall filled the silence of her apartment again. Zara always felt suspicious of the man who lived there, because when she waited for the lift to go to the floor of her unit, he would stand there at least four times a week and watch her as the doors closed. The creepy thing about that was, when the lift reached the sixth floor, he would be there as she stepped out.She always thought of him as her own personal stalker. Creepy Craig. Maybe he was harmless? Who cares! Zara wanted out. The last time she got out of the lift at her own floor, Creepy Craig was standing there leering at her offering ANZAC cookies. Enough was enough. She needed to get out of his apartment now. Even Ben, her boyfriend thought the guy was a creep. He wanted to sort him out but Zara didn’t want him to do that. Right now, she wished Ben wa s at home instead of playing Rugby with the local club in Southport. She reached for her mobile phone and called him.Zara was pleased to hear that Ben was on his way home. Even better, he had already been searching and had found a nice new apartment. He wanted her to see the next day. Their new place was amazing, right on the Broadwater overlooking water which glistened like diamonds in the sunlight as the squeals of the kids with their families echoed into the distance. Having a new unit was great. Just what Zara and Ben wanted. The relief of not worrying about Creepy Craig any more made her feel relaxed for the first time in months.Sitting on the balcony with the blistering Australian twelve o’clock sun hovering above, Zara and Ben relaxed with a refreshing icy cold glass of beer. They talked about their plans for tomorrow afternoon’s family picnic at the Broadwater and how Australia Day this year was going to be amazing. Ben would make the waterslide for the kids; a unty Sue would take the name out of the hat to see who was going to cook the barbeque this year. Zara and Ben both hoped it wasn’t going to be Gazza again. Last time he cooked he burnt all the sausages and set fire to his own shirt.Zara thought he had one too many beers that day. Aside from the disaster last year, they were both getting excited. As the afternoon wore on and the heat of the sun dissipated, Zara and Ben were feeling very relaxed. Out of nowhere, loud crashes resonated as if pots and pans were being hurtled across a room. From the unit above, the crash was accompanied by a girl yelling and a man swearing. Unsettled by the noise and wondering if the girl was okay, Ben left their unit and got the elevator to the eleventh floor. He followed the sound like a detective finding clues to a murder scene.Zara waited anxiously on the balcony on the floor below, worrying about what was actually happening up there and if Ben really should have gone to investigate. Everythin g went strangely silent. An ear-piercing scream split through the air. There, in a single second, but seeming like slow motion, a beautiful young girl glided past her balcony like a feather. Zara met her eyes and in a heartbeat she felt like she saw the girl’s whole life in a flash. She was gone. Zara froze like a statue. Ben burst through the door, demanding to know what had happened as he couldn’t get anyone to open to his knocking at the unit above.Zara couldn’t get any words out. All she could manage to do was point to the balcony repeatedly. When Ben returned, he looked pale and sick. They stood looking at each other for a few seconds; they both seemed to come out of their stupor after Ben called the police. People were out on their balconies all over the building, gazing in shock at the terrible sight below. Police and ambulance sirens blared towards their building. The afternoon ended in a haze of uniforms all over the place. Because Zara and Ben’s unit was directly below where the girl fell, they had to be questioned by the police.They told their stories and signed statements. Their fantastic day had ended in tragedy. They felt quite sick as they went to bed that night. When the brightness of the morning woke Zara and Ben, they discussed whether they should cancel their plans but both really wanted to get out of the unit and be with their family and friends. So it was decided that Ben would take the esky down to the basement, pack the car, drive up to reception and pick Zara up from there. After bed Ben phoned to say he was on the way, Zara waited at the reception.She felt uneasy about being on her own but it was only a few minutes until she would be out of the building and with Ben. She shared the lift with the manager of the building, Steve. They briefly discussed the sad and frightening event of yesterday. Steve couldn’t say very much because it was still a police matter. When the lift doors opened a t the ground f loor, Zara looked up and standing in the foyer was Creepy Craig. â€Å"That’s the poor man who lost his girlfriend over the balcony yesterday. † Steve said to Zara whispering the news.

Annotated Bibliography On Islamic Art - 896 Words

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